To my disappointment my hoh left too early yesterday morning to follow through with my punishment and I felt a little neglected. As soon as he left I texted him that I was tired of him putting off the "dd" stuff and I just want to get it over with so I don't feel guilty for my actions. I just want a clean slate.
Because he was driving he didn't respond right away. I texted him a bit later to see how his trip was going and a few seconds later he called me. We chatted about just random things and finally I asked him if he had received my text early about dd.
The words that came out of his mouth next were more painful than the guilt I was already feeling. He said ...... he was dissapointed in me. He was dissapointed in my behaviour and the way I had been acting the last day or two. He was dissapointed that we had been doing the best we ever had and I had to start being bratty.
He was dissapointed.... that just keeps ringing in my ears. The tone in his voice was nothing I had ever heard before. I never knew that dd would cause me to think this much about my actions and I have yet to be actually spanked (the first one doesn't count I don't think). I guess I have read in others blogs that the lecture is almost worse then the spanking and I believe it.
My worst fear in life is failure. Having the man I put all my trust in and love with all my heart be dissapointed in me is gut wrenching. That feeling alone makes me want to do better.
Because he was driving he didn't respond right away. I texted him a bit later to see how his trip was going and a few seconds later he called me. We chatted about just random things and finally I asked him if he had received my text early about dd.
The words that came out of his mouth next were more painful than the guilt I was already feeling. He said ...... he was dissapointed in me. He was dissapointed in my behaviour and the way I had been acting the last day or two. He was dissapointed that we had been doing the best we ever had and I had to start being bratty.
He was dissapointed.... that just keeps ringing in my ears. The tone in his voice was nothing I had ever heard before. I never knew that dd would cause me to think this much about my actions and I have yet to be actually spanked (the first one doesn't count I don't think). I guess I have read in others blogs that the lecture is almost worse then the spanking and I believe it.
My worst fear in life is failure. Having the man I put all my trust in and love with all my heart be dissapointed in me is gut wrenching. That feeling alone makes me want to do better.
Oh, disappointment is a killer for me. And that sad tone twists through my heart. I'd rather be spanked 10 times over than hear that.
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