the dog brought it out in him

So I have been grounded for the last few days.... Well it all started at 3am when our dog woke us up by puking under our bed... he woke up and told me that I should probably clean it up before morning... That is when I started to get upset...

I thought to myself .... Why should I have to clean it up it is OUR dog. Who is he to tell me what to do?.... But I did it anyways I got up and went to get the cleaning stuff to clean up the puke... I came back into the room and was a bit huffy puffy about it. I look under the bed and he had puked all the way under the bed in the farthest corner so i was going to have to crawl all the way over to it... Then my "lovely" boyfriend thought of the great idea that it would be smart to just move the mattress and reach it that way.... "light bulb"....

Then i wasnt so mad because I thought that he was going to help me but instead he wrapped up in a blanket and went to the living room and layed down on the couch... This is when I started in "oh WOW thanks for the help hun" "Man I sure and thankful no one else woke up to the dog puking" "It isnt like im tired or anything" "why dont you just sleep on the couch"...

Once I was done I just didnt talk to him I walked in the living room threw away the puke then walked back into the room slammed the door and started to lay down in bed... during this whole time he was asking me if I was done or not... I didnt respond, not even a peep.... As I was headed towards the bed I hear him coming and the door flys open and let me tell ya, he was far from happy... all he said was go stand in the corner right now... I just looked at him like a deer in headlights... "NOW"... I stomped out of the room to the corner... I didnt think it was fair at all I was so mad at him for making me stand there... So instead of standing I decided I was going to sit down ... I sat there the entire time...

For about the first 15 minutes I was just mad at him... that stupid jerk this isnt fair... I cant believe him... Im not talking to him... I should just get up right now and go lay on the couch and say screw him... WHO does HE think HE is???.... then at about 15 minutes my thinking started to change and I felt bad ... I felt worse than bad I felt HORRIBLE... How could I talk to him the way I did? I had been unemployed for about 2 weeks prior to this incident so all I had been doing was job searching and then going to work with him to keep him company... that day I had just hung out with a friend of mine ... He had worked all day long that day and it was his day off then he came home to friends over and they didnt leave until almost 8 pm.... So it was understandable that he wanted me to clean up the puke, he was tired.

This is when I started to get a bit emotional... then I started to get cold lol... I was in a tank top and pj bottoms but our house is freezing at night

I asked him "can i come out yet"

 "no"

"I want a sweater"

"be quiet"

"but im cold"

"you had better stop talking"

this is when I realized he wasn't going to give in. I had really upset him. I sat there for about another 10 minutes or so for a total of about 30-45 minutes. When he finally allowed me to come back into the room I apologized and he just said we would be talking in the morning because I was still in trouble... Long story short I was grounded for about 2 days from doing anything on my computer or outside the house with out asking first.

Sounds like DD is growing on him ... I love that it is growing on him but I hate being in trouble lol

he doesnt seem to want this...

It has come to my attention that my bf doesnt really want this type of lifestyle... whether he realizes it or not... I am angry, upset, sad, and let down by this....

He was all for it but now that it is time to take "action", so to speak, he sort of clams up... I think he likes the part of it where he is "in charge" but he doesn't want to really step up into that position fully... he will tell me I "cant or can" do things but then if I do or do not do them he doesnt really care... It is very confusing...

He will give me the look or the "you better watch it" but in my head I think "watch what??!?!?!" I mean seriously.... the last time I was punished was almost 20 days ago and that isnt because I have been a perfect angel... I have been far from it if you ask me...

 It is really odd stuff that sets him into the DD mode as well.. Like if I am rude or something that will get him straight to the hoh tone but I could not do the laundry for a month and leave dishes all over the place and he could care less.. I could break 5 offenses and he will say so you didnt do blah blah blah blah blah today.... and thats it... that is as far as it goes.. there isnt any "you have to finish your chores that you have been slacking on before you go anywhere or do anything fun"....

I just dont get it where in our relationship does DD exist and where is it just out the window???? I dont even know if I want to continue this up and down thing it is annoying... I am trying to be a great GF but sometimes it is just hard and I want to test him... He can feel me pushing but he does nothing about it... WHY??????

Why cant he just step up into the position in this relationship I want him to be in and the one we talked about for a month prior to even really using DD? Why cant he just follow through with the arrangement we agreed upon? It makes me so mad inside I can feel the pressure building just thinking about it... I feel like I have been lied to or betrayed.... I feel like something I have been wanting for so long that I finally got is being taken away from me...

I dont want to go back to the way we were before DD but I dont want to stay where we are now either... I want to know he is in charge of us and he will take care of us and that I will know my place in this relationship of ours.

I mean I guess DD has sparked some new things in our relationship. He is much more loving and sweet and he has started listening to things I ask of him. For example in the past he never really told me I was beautiful or anything like that. He always told me that I should just know that and it was a very unattractive quality that I wanted him to tell me I was pretty when I specially dressed up for him. I used to get so mad about this... what was the point in even dressing up if he wasnt even going to take the time to notice? I tell him he is handsome all the time... why couldnt he do the same for me??? well the other day I brought that up to him again and the next day he told me how pretty I looked. It was really a great feeling.. it isnt like I need him to make me feel better about myself it is just that I want to know he notices me I guess. Before DD I didnt even really think he was attracted to me... But he has been trying he even bought me flowers on our anniversary and that was the first thing he had ever bought me in the three years we had been together.... His reasoning was sort of crap though... He said the only reason he bought them was because he knew I was looking forward to something and would be mad if he didnt follow through... Is that how all guys are?

Anyways enough rambling for one day... back to my chores that dont really matter if they get done or not... maybe he might notice i even did them... fat chance...

very very busy

I haven't blogged in awhile... trust me there are good reasons... I have been dealing with issues at work, and my best friend just moved away booooo.... oh yeah and I quit my job... So needless to say I have been very busy looking for work and trying to find out where I want to go in my life.

 So anyways about the job thing we have new management and they have basically ran away everyone. 4 people inculuding myself that had been there a year plus all quit with in 3 weeks... Let me put this in perspective we only had 8 employees and the place I work at was a 24hr around the clock so until new employees are trained and certified they are sort of screwed...

On the other note.... what my blog is actually about D.D... We havnt been really using it my bf says he is to busy and I have been trying not to push it... I know there have been plenty of rules I have been breaking and it is really hard to keep doing 120% when if I do 80% nothing happens... Does that make sense?.. I mean I try to do 100% but the motivation factor isnt there?.. I dont really know how to explain it.

well i have some reading to do I will try to start posting more often..

i read this blog the other day chat!

So while the bf and I were making dinner tonight I brought up a topic to him and this is how it went...

"Sooooo I was reading this blog the other day"

"oh yeah? This is how ALL the good conversations start"

"Welllll I was reading that some people use a 48 hr rule"

"oh? well what happens then?"

"well I dunno that's up to you! I just don't want stuff to go for a week before being dealt with..."

"Well the problem is I am so tired after work and my arms are so exhausted that I don't really want to be spanking you and not know how hard I am hitting you......"

"oh well there is always the morning time before you go to work..."

"that really isn't something I want to start my day out doing... I mean its not like I enjoy spanking you..."

"ha ha ha well I don't really think you are supposed to. That would just be weird."

SOOOOOO anyways my question is what do other couples do in situations like this?

frustrated

I dont like to be frustrated... especially at my bf... and even more so when it comes to dd ... but I am and I can't help it... I try not to be because I realize dd is still so new to our relationship... but I just want the new part to get over and the consistency to begin ... I realize he is tired after work and what not but that doesnt mean the dd side to our relationship can be ignored ... dd is not the third wheel... dd is not just hit or miss... not for me Anyways ... it has become a part of me ... I just need to feel it is important to him as well not just some game... this is a lifestyle we chose to try that doesn't have an on off switch ... the times he has followed through with dd he has done amazing and i love him so much for doing  so... anyhow im getting sleepy ... night all

$9, popcorn, slurpee and a pizza...

Soooo a girlfriend and I went out to the Saturday market in our town today which was completely alright but what i said I was going to buy and actually bought is where the problem comes in... I told the bf that I was going to the Saturday market to get some vegetables but while I was there I didn't see any veggies that I really wanted so I ended up not getting any. Instead by friend and I shared a bag of popcorn $3.00... well not the whole bag maybe a cup or so of it I would say...

After that we were very thirsty so we went to the 7-11 and got some slurpees, mine was $1.39.

Then we headed over to the goodwill outlet store to JUST LOOK AROUND. I was just wanting to show it to my friend but while we were there she ended up finding some really good deals on some amazing clothes, abocrombie, hollister, and american eagle... My looking around ended up getting me 3 nice sweaters,  a pea coat looking thing, and 2 long sleeve shirts for only $9.32!!!!! WHAT A DEAL right?

Then on the way home we stopped and picked up a little ceasers pizza and split the cost so $2.50 each.

So all in all I spent $3.00+$1.39+$9.32+2.50=$16.21... but he had given me $14 to go to the market so I just used that money in other places... and all of those clothes bought new would have cost me about $200!

I called him when I got home after my friend left and asked him if I could buy some stuff at goodwill but he couldn't really talk much because he was working and the dog was running into the road. I didn't really get an answer out of him other than him asking me to come pick up our dog.

When I got to where he was working I asked him "what if I already bought the stuff at goodwill."

He said "You would be in trouble for wasting money and not asking...."

 Now after writing all of this I am starting to feel a bit guilty...  I can see his point now.. he gave me money for veggies and I spent it on clothes.. I should have just asked... He would have probably said ok... but now instead I am just in trouble...

"you're full of crap"

TRUST ME dont ever say that to your HOH!!!! lol... I was talking to my friend Kay from http://tryingtolearnlearningtotry.blogspot.com/ and she told me one way to get your HOH attention in the way you dont want to is to tell him he is full of crap... Let me tell you it works lol...

I was sitting at my computer and he was sitting next to me at his and I looked over at him to give it a whirl...I was only joking mind you... and as soon as it came out of my mouth he didnt even look at me and just said "go stand in the corner" 

"what!?!?! I was just joking"

"Dont care you have been pretty mouthy lately and I am tired of it. GO stand in the corner"

"Hun really?"

"You better go stand in the corner right now OR ELSE..."

So off I went... I was so embarrassed I went into the other room and stood out there... (that way I could huf and puff in secrecy)... I didn't want him to be able to see me standing there either, that would have made it 10x more embarrassing... I stood there with my arms folded for awhile just glaring out of the corner of my eye towards the doorway to the bedroom where our computers are... Then after awhile I started thinking to myself... well maybe I have been a bit mouthy... Finally by the time he told me I was done and could come back into the room I could feel myself being huffy puffy still and had to give myself a moment before he saw me... I had to put on my non frown face and my non bratty attitude... After about 2 or so minutes I was ready to face him. I went back in the room and went back to what I was doing on my computer before I was so rudely interrupted with this corner time nonsense (just kidding hoh <3 ya..... he reads all of my blogs so I figured I would throw that in there). and that was it, corner time over... not so bad I guess.

Lets hope I never get a 10

So I have realized that my hoh is very mathematical with how he keeps track of what I need disciplined for. I.e. spanked for... like today for example I was chating with him and he informed me that he hadn't forgotten my offenses that I still needed punished for and that I wouldn't be getting out of it.... he also let me know that I was at about a level 7 punishment ... level 7 wtf?!?!....level 7???? I then found out he rates the sevarity of the offense on a scale from 1-10,10 being the worst... small things can add up to big things... so I forget to push my chair in twice, I am extremely rude on the phone, and I leave my computer on once gets me to a level 7....

this isn't rating how hot someone is... this is rating how hot my bottom is gonna be....gulp.... I asked him what would happen if I got to a level 10 and he just said you dont want to know... eeks... so I guess lets hope until my discipline takes place I dont up that level 7 any higher....

Dear my oh so beloved hoh!

Hello there my love,

I know you read my blog seeing as I got in trouble for something I posted earlier. So I figure this will be a good way for me to tell you something I have been thinking about but haven't gotten a chance to talk to you about.

I wish you were more strict with me. If I leave my chair out after you have told me not to I want there to be a consequince. Wether you take away my chair for a day, or give me corner time, or ground me from my computer the next day or even a spanking, I just wish there was something.  It doesnt even have to be anything big just a little hey I saw what you did wrong so here is your punishment.

This is the only way I am going to remember and learn from my mistakes.  When things pile up and I am being spanked for 5 different things it is hard for me to relate that spanking to the offense.

I dont mind if you are creative with my punishment either, I have already  agreed to take any punishment you feel I have coming and if after your lecture and discipline I still disagree I will let you know.

Oh and dont feel bad if I got spanked the night prior. If I need another spanking then I need it... It is my fault for earning myself one,  not yours. Even if I need one later the same day then you have my permission to do so. If you are so dissapointed in my behavior that you feel I "deserve" multiple spankings in a row then I probably do!

Don't feel bad if you leave marks either because we are still learning and those will heal over and be fine. I bruise easy and you know that and my bruises take awhile to go away. Dont let that detour you from giving me a sound spanking when I need one. (On a side note I read if you did a light short spanking to warm up and then used a belt rather than the hairbrush it wont bruise? Read the Learningdd blog on beginner spankings and down in the comments someone had the same issue we did)

I also wanted to tell you how amazing you are to take on such a huge task. You have been so open to everything I have brought up to you and a part of my heart has grown a bit more closer to you. Ever since we decided to go down the path to DD I look at you so differently.  In my eyes you are this strong, loving, caring, amazing and considerate man that wants the best for us and our future.  I look up to you and want to do everything in my power to please you and make you happy because you being happy makes me happy!

Anyways I need to get some sleep

<3 u

Oh and ps you can respond here if you want you dont have to have an account you can just use the anonymous option or you could just wait til we get a chance to talk

answering my own questions

what will it feel like? well it hurt like heck lol... the sting was the worst

will I be able to stay in position? I was mostly able to until towards the end then it started getting really hard

will he be able to actually spank me hard enough or will i feel like i was let down in the end and still in need of more punishment? I didnt feel let down one bit with the spanking I recieved... I do feel the lecture prior to could use some work and having a timeout/corner time inbetween the lecture and the spanking would help me

how many swats will i receive? well it was supposed to be 20 on each cheek but I lost count after about 5
 
will he use just his hand or the spoon or brush as well? Or even a belt? it was all the brush this time, he started over my pants then went bare

will i be told to stand in the corner and if so for how long? no corner time this time but next time?

what is going to happen after the spanking is over? Will he hold me and remind me how much he loves me? Will we have amazing sex? after the spanking was over I layed on his lap for awhile  not wanting to move until finally he lifted me up to sit next to him but instead i burried my face in the blankets because I didnt want to let him see me cry from the pain my hiney was in... but he didnt allow that he made me sit up and look at him and we talked about what happened... I was in no mood for sex so none of that happened lol

how will i feel the next day? well today as I am writing this I feel fine my bottom is still red/bruised but I dont really feel it

will this first spanking be a constant reminder to follow our rules so I am not spanked again anytime soon? well I really hope this is a great reminder because it hurt like the devil...

Will I cry? Will I beg him to stop? I cried but only about 10 tears or so, I do sort of wish I had more of a release than that but I didnt. I did towards the end start telling him "ok, ok, ok, im sorry" he did a handful of swats after that and stopped. I did cry after it was all over though but not a whole bunch

After it is all done and over with will i feel i have still made the correct decision to begin this type of lifestyle? well immediately afterwards when my bottom was still in pain no I didnt feel like I made the right decision but about 10 minutes afterwards when I looked at him and realized what an amazing man he was for helping me fix my not so great behaviors I love him so much more and wouldn't go back

Will his spanking be much harder than I expected? Will he know when enough is enough? OMG it hurt like hell.... He did know when enough was enough I thought it was enough about 8 swats in lol but he knew better and I am glad he did. My bottom started to bruise so he had to sort of move around on my bottom but even then it still bruised and he said that was why he stopped.

What will the lecture before hand be like? the lecture wasnt great but at least there was one. there were so many things he was spanking for that we couldn't even remember them all like I said in a previous post I almost feel I was acting out a bit which is why there were so many offenses against me.. I will not be doing that any time soon...

Will I be able to submit to him like I desperately want and need to? I think I did a fairly well job with it.

I take it back...

Well tonight was the night... I was spanked and it was not "easy" as I stated the last one being... My HOH informed me that he had been reading my blog. I didn't even know he knew what it was called but he pulled it up on his computer and it is one of his saved bookmarks... I guess he has been reading it daily to see what I post and he didn't much care for my comment about his last discipline being easy on me... and trust me he let me know... I was also being punished for a few other offenses and today was the first day we got the chance to take care of everything. I lost count of how many swats I received after about number 5 all I could think about was the pain... As hard as I tried I did end up putting my hand back, I guess I put it back 3 times but I only really remember putting it back once. I also moved out of position a couple times but moved right back (according to the hoh I didnt move right back). I didn't realize it would be so hard to stay in perfect position.

My HOH also has a new bff... Mr. hairbrush. He states I cant spank you with my hand because I work with my hands... So I guess for me it is the hairbrush or worse... hmmmm....

We talked a little bit about the discipline afterwards and I told him that I think it would help me if there was a break in between the lecture and the discipline such as a corner time or a timeout. 

I do have a few questions though on the learningdd blog page it says that for a beginners spanking you should use a hairbrush or your hand with about 20 swats with out bruising but my bottom is very bruised... I do bruise easily... Anyone have any advice?

the unicycle

So against my boyfriends better judgement I decided I wanted to learn how to ride a unicycle.... in the dark, on concrete, near a fence, on a work night.... Everything was going great until I fell down backwards and tried to grab the fence to save myself... The fence isn't much of a hero that is for sure... I fell straight down on my bottom and really hurt my tailbone... so now every time I stand up, sit down, or bend over I am reminded of the bad decision I made... And all he told me was "I told you not to do that maybe next time you will listen to me" erg lol...

I have decided that I am still going to learn how to ride the unicycle but this time I am going to take baby steps rather than just going all out for it on my first try... Any how ta ta for now and happy mothers day everyone!

That word dissapointed

To my disappointment my hoh left too early yesterday morning to follow through with my punishment and I felt a little neglected.  As soon as he left I texted him that I was tired of him putting off the "dd" stuff and I just want to get it over with so I don't feel guilty for my actions. I just want a clean slate.  
Because he was driving he didn't respond right away. I texted him a bit later to see how his trip was going and a few seconds later he called me.  We chatted about just random things and finally I asked him if he had received my text early about dd.

The words that came out of his mouth next were more painful than the guilt I was already feeling. He said ...... he was dissapointed in me. He was dissapointed in my behaviour and the way I had been acting the last day or two. He was dissapointed that we had been doing the best we ever had and I had to start being bratty.

He was dissapointed.... that just keeps ringing in my ears. The tone in his voice was nothing I had ever heard before.  I never knew that dd would cause me to think this much about my actions and I have yet to be actually spanked (the first one doesn't count I don't think). I guess I have read in others blogs that the lecture is almost worse then the spanking and I believe it.

My worst fear in life is failure. Having the man I put all my trust in and love with all my heart be dissapointed in me is gut wrenching. That feeling alone makes me want to do better.

Watch my sass

Erg... well I made a couple mistakes the last two days :(... first off I didnt tell my hoh my previous discipline wasnt enough to teach me a lesson. Second off I didnt complete 3 tasks I was asked/ I said I was going to do. Third I was very mouthy / bratty/ sassy towards my hoh about the same issue numerous times... he just got home a few days ago and now he is leaving again for 2 days on business again... I was mad at him about leaving because he just got home and on top of that i felt he could really go next week and get the same stuff done. See I am working 8 days straight so we could go on this trip together and we would have a few days off and spend some quality time together traveling and seeing family... the plan was to go on a 5 day trip see family hang out at the beach and do some business on the way but instead im being left at home for 2-3 days and he is just going to do business and come home .... and rather than going next week he is going today so I cant go with .... Long story short when I found out I was sad then angry then ferious then I felt guilty for all those emotions. I sent him some very long angry texts yesterday while he was at work and that was where I messed up... because in the middle of me sending about the third angry text I get a call... it was him... I contemplated not answering but then I would be in more trouble but I knew if I answered I would get an ear full... I waited until the last ring and quickly answered "What!" Him " im sorry Hun but it has to be this way I am looking out for us and am trying to get this business going so we can have a better life together and rather than going to the beach next week we could go to Hawaii later this year or something." Me I felt so bad that I was so mean to him. Rather Tyne gin getting upset and angry at me he calmly explained to me what was going on. This is something that before dd would never happen. I had knots in my stomach because I am supposed to be putting my trust in him and know he will do things that are the best for us rather than doubt him... at this point I was crying because I was upset about the situation and also that I had gone against everything we are trying to create. A very loving and tight relationship. After a few minutes more of conversation I apologized and told him to have a good day. Later in the day I texted him telling him I felt guilty for my behaviour and I felt as if I had got away Scott free with our last discipline. All he said back was "oh I know....." when he got home after working a nine hour day I again apologized to him at the most perfect time I felt, we were cuddling and having a good time. To my surprise he said " I understand you are sorry but don't think that will get you out of the severe spanking you have coming" " ummm. Oh..... Welllll...." " the only reason you arnt bent over right now is because I am to exhausted " We agreed that tomorrow morning I will be spanked for my offenses before he leaves on his trip. I also have a feeling this one will be much more intense than the last one because I sort of picked fun at my last spanking ... we shall see. I have a feeling if it isn't enough I will let him know because I think part of my attitude has been from "getting" away with a light previous discipline. I am sure I will let you all know how it goes.

my very first spanking

Well I actually received it yesterday I just haven't had a chance to blog since then : / . My first spanking wasn't as bad as I thought it could have been and to be honest I was a bit disappointed afterwards but not really during I guess. My hoh walked in and tapped me on the arm with the wooden spoon and just said "come on". me: "what" him: I am going to spank you for this this and this. me: that's not fair him: well sorry but you need to get over here I get up and go over to him and stand in front of him a little embarrassed and nervous at the same time. But for some reason it was all I could do to keep a smile off my face (weird right?). He explains to me the reason I was getting spanked and made sure I understood and told me I would only be getting 1 swat... yes you heard right 1?!?!?! swat?!?!?!? Heck I felt like i was getting off Scott free... The process of bending over his knee was probably the hardest part out of everything the embarrassment was killing me, and then he bared my bottom. Down came the 1 swat with the spoon and I sat up and he immediately realized it want enough because i had some sassy remark about it so I received 4 more swats and then the spoon broke... darn cheap spoons...By the forth swat I was thinking oh yikes this actually hurts and then he was done only 4 swats later. I was relieved to be done but dissapointed becasue I knew it wasn't enough but I was too embarrassed to ask for more.

the warning

So, as my previous post stated I have yet to receive a spanking yet but.... I have been warned once that I will be sent to the corner if my attitude didnt change and it was interesting how quickly I went from being snobby to being nice again! Can anyone else relate to this?

He is home at last

He has finally returned home! I have been anticipating his return for so long I was so happy. It reminded me of the same feeling a child feels when Christmas day is coming up, and yesterday was my Christmas. He will only be home for about a month though and then he is gone again :( bit next time will be easier. I have yet to recieve my first spanking and i have also not brought it up to him. Well i sort of did but not verbally, i was reading online about dd and he looked over at my computer and saw what i was reading. Now that he is hone i am wondering how this will all be initiated? Any help anyone? Do you remember your first spanking? How did it begin? Was it awkward? Well thanks in advanced!

Insanity workout

So I have started working out... again... first time it was p90x and now it is insanity... I only did about 2 weeks of p90x and then I got sick and never started back up again. Now I am on day 2 of insanity and OMG... SOOOOO SORE lol....

I can tell you one thing though I will be following through with this workout this time because now that we are practicing DD I have asked my HOH to "ensure" I do my excising and dont give up on it again. We used to have a rule that I couldnt go over 135 this was my way of encouraging myself to be healthy. Now rather than a weight I just have to stick to my workout!

Anyways has anyone else tried INSANITY? or P90X? Did you succeed?

thats all for now

thanks for reading

one more week

Well it turns out that my bf will not be back for another 5-8 days and since my last punishment I haven't told him of any other offenses I have broke. There is a reason behind me not telling him it isn't that I am just keeping it from him I just feel like he has been so busy working that I shouldn't bother him with my errors instead I have been writing them down and the list is getting fairly long. (and I also hate the capsaicin cream)

My last punishment was last weekend and my next punishment will be next weekend when he returns home. I have a feeling he will not be too happy with the list I will have for him but hopefully he doesn't go to hard on me.

Has anyone else had to deal with something like this when their HOH is out of town for a long period of time? How did you handle it?

the perfect husband

I found this article from the same site as my previous post How to be a Good Husband? Here are Eleven Qualities of a Good husband.

Here are Eleven Qualities of a Good husband.
1) Be Pleasant: Nobody likes an arrogant man. Be pleasant to everyone around you including your wife, friends and family. Be warm, kind, positive, understanding and friendly. It is often heard said that ‘What we give is what we get back.’ Try to arrive home as cheery and lighthearted as you can even if you had a bad day at office or is physically exhausted after driving through the traffic jams. Just because your wife does not go out to work does not mean that her work is less strenuous. She might have been struggling with the children and the housework all day.

2) Respect the Vows: Faithfulness or Loyalty is one of the prime qualities a wife wants in her man. Have a sense of honor and duty.Remember that when you got married you took the sacred vows. The honorable thing is to fulfill the duty to your wife that you took upon yourself the day you got married. It is the duty of a man to provide for his family. Never expect your wife to contribute to the smooth operation of the household. Even in this day and age of women in the workplace, most prefer to have that as an option rather than a necessary part of their lives. Motherhood and caring for a husband and home usually takes priority for her. Never assume that the money you earn is yours to do with as you like. You have a family to think about now and their needs must always come before your own.

3) Reliable, Responsible and Supportive: Every Woman wants her partner to be reliable and be there for her when she needs her. Support your wife in all stages of life. Provide reassurance when she is feeling down. Do not belittle her or hurt her ego. If she is a working woman understand her work pressures and problems. Be proud of her on her accomplishments and do not forget to complement her. Be available for her when she needs a shoulder to cry or when she needs support from you. Let her know that you care for her. When you are not near her at least make a phone call to her even if you talk to her for only a minute or two. When you come back after work or on weekend do things with her or help her in whatever way possible. She would appreciate even if you are not much of help because you are tried to help her. Be a friend to her. When you don’t agree with her views respectfully let know that you don’t agree with reasons.

4) Adaptability and Sensitivity : As years pass on you'll see that glowing woman you fell in love with years ago does not look the same or behave in the same manner. She may be tied up with the pressures at home like needs of children, financial obligations etc. Allow her time to relax by taking some work off her shoulders or take some time out so that you can spend some time together relaxing. Be sensitive to the needs of your wife and looks to meet them. Do not let your feelings toward life's changes affect feelings toward your wife. An Ideal Man needs to be sensitive to the requirements of the partner, treat her as an equal, understand when she needs to stay late at work or help with housework and contribute to the expenses.

5)Show Respect: If you expect respect from others you need to treat others with respect too. Respect can be reflected in the way one talks and behaves. Always speak in a loving manner and refrain from speaking harshly. A good husband never chooses to belittle strike, humiliate or otherwise harm his wife in private or in public. It is better to watch what you say and to think your thoughts through before speaking as it is not possible to take back the words once they have been spoken. Treat her with respect in front of others and at home. Do not look at other ladies in front of her. Take in consideration her opinion when making important decisions of the family. If you are bringing your buddies home let her know in advance.

6) Judgment and Emotional Baggage: Many of us have emotional baggage. But do not bring that emotional baggage into the marriage. Many men praise their previous wives, girlfriends or mother in front of their wives. Avoid judging every action or opinion your wife has and understand that she is different from you. Her experiences and likings may be different from you too. Comparing her or making her feel that she does not measure up only would ruin your marriage.

7) Communication: Communication is the key to a good and solid marriage. Women also expect honesty in men. Honesty is what builds trust in your relationship with your woman. She may even forgive your mistakes but only if you are honest with her and promise not to do it again. Women like their men to be open to them at all times and not keep them in the dark about what is going on in their man’s life. Find time to sit and talk with your wife on a daily basis even if it is during the Dinner time. If you let things bottle up and feel that you cannot share with your wife then your marriage is in trouble. Be a good listener when she talks. Your wife too wants someone to listen to her and empathize with what's going on in her life. Listen avidly to your wife's complaints. Woman cannot resist a man who understands her moods, attitude, feelings, values, likes and dislikes. This would encourage her to open up with you and don’t keep secrets. Good Communication helps in building trust and strengthens your relationship. Make your woman laugh often. Women love men who are witty and have a sense of humor.Fights or problems may happen in between the two but do not let the world know about it rather solve it between yourselves. The fight you had last week over shopping or whatever is over and done with. So move on with it and stop rehashing old stuff and reminding her of her faults. Do not resort to name calling, hitting, spitting, breaking dishes or anything else when you lose your temper.

8). Love and Affection: Show your love and affection to her as often as possible. Every woman is a sucker of affection. If you only give them that stuff to get to bed, your wife is going to notice and think it's insincere. A good husband will appreciate his wife and will notice her, even after twenty or fifty years of marriage. She needs you to notice when she gets that new haircut or dresses up in something sexy for you to come home to. If you fail to notice what she is doing for you too many times, she may just count it as fruitless and quit. Gift your Partner something fancy when she least expects it. Surprise her by planning a trip, preparing a nice dinner, giving a bunch of her favorite flowers or taking her out for shopping. Every Woman likes to be pampered. Women, one way or the other, are nothing but over grown babies who constantly need care. But every woman has their likings, give things what she likes instead of forcing your likes on her and show her that you care and would be always there for her. Never forget the special days in her life. Make an effort to initiate spontaneous affection with your wife. Build the companionship by doing things together whether it is a common interest or hobby. Give her a hug or surprise kiss and tell her how much you love her. Hold hands with her when you’re out together. These small gestures show your wife that you’ve thought of her and help you reinforce your commitment to your wife.

9) Offer Protection: A woman need to feel safe and secured with her man. She needs to feel that when he is with her no one can harm her. You don't need to be a muscle man but at least when you are with her others should not be making a pass at her. She wants her man to behave like a man and treat her like a lady when she is with you.

10) Give her Space: As a Husband you need to understand that your wife has a life other than you also. She has her Parents, friends and colleagues who too are part of her life. She also may have some hobbies or passions he is involved in. Don’t expect her undivided attention. Don’t stop her if he wants to go out and hang out with her friends sometimes or engage in a hobby or want to spend some time with her parents.

11) Keep her happy in Bed: Sexual intimacy is one of the most essential things in any marriage. Good Sex helps to strengthen your emotional and physical attraction to her. Please your wife in bed and be faithful to her. No woman would tolerate a cheating partner. Good sex plays a vital part when it comes to a satisfying relationship and if you are not skilled in bed that is going to be a major turn off. Never grumble about having to support children you didn't want to have. If you were irresponsible enough to help her get pregnant, then it is your duty to pay for that child. Do not bring porn into a relationship. Porn will only create unrealistic expectations in your mind about your spouse’s libido, body, and comfort level with weird sex positions.

In short, if you don't like how you partner treats you, take a minute to notice how you treat your partner and correct your behavior. If you are an ideal husband, that will help your wife to be an ideal wife. A wife usually responds to the way that she is treated. If she is treated like she is worthless, she will be worthless to you. But, if you treat her well, she will be a jewel in your crown, a pleasure to you and a forever blessing.
Nobody likes an arrogant man. Be pleasant to everyone around you including your wife, friends and family. Be warm, kind, positive, understanding and friendly. It is often heard said that ‘What we give is what we get back.’ Try to arrive home as cheery and lighthearted as you can even if you had a bad day at office or is physically exhausted after driving through the traffic jams. Just because your wife does not go out to work does not mean that her work is less strenuous. She might have been struggling with the children and the housework all day.