answering my own questions

what will it feel like? well it hurt like heck lol... the sting was the worst

will I be able to stay in position? I was mostly able to until towards the end then it started getting really hard

will he be able to actually spank me hard enough or will i feel like i was let down in the end and still in need of more punishment? I didnt feel let down one bit with the spanking I recieved... I do feel the lecture prior to could use some work and having a timeout/corner time inbetween the lecture and the spanking would help me

how many swats will i receive? well it was supposed to be 20 on each cheek but I lost count after about 5
 
will he use just his hand or the spoon or brush as well? Or even a belt? it was all the brush this time, he started over my pants then went bare

will i be told to stand in the corner and if so for how long? no corner time this time but next time?

what is going to happen after the spanking is over? Will he hold me and remind me how much he loves me? Will we have amazing sex? after the spanking was over I layed on his lap for awhile  not wanting to move until finally he lifted me up to sit next to him but instead i burried my face in the blankets because I didnt want to let him see me cry from the pain my hiney was in... but he didnt allow that he made me sit up and look at him and we talked about what happened... I was in no mood for sex so none of that happened lol

how will i feel the next day? well today as I am writing this I feel fine my bottom is still red/bruised but I dont really feel it

will this first spanking be a constant reminder to follow our rules so I am not spanked again anytime soon? well I really hope this is a great reminder because it hurt like the devil...

Will I cry? Will I beg him to stop? I cried but only about 10 tears or so, I do sort of wish I had more of a release than that but I didnt. I did towards the end start telling him "ok, ok, ok, im sorry" he did a handful of swats after that and stopped. I did cry after it was all over though but not a whole bunch

After it is all done and over with will i feel i have still made the correct decision to begin this type of lifestyle? well immediately afterwards when my bottom was still in pain no I didnt feel like I made the right decision but about 10 minutes afterwards when I looked at him and realized what an amazing man he was for helping me fix my not so great behaviors I love him so much more and wouldn't go back

Will his spanking be much harder than I expected? Will he know when enough is enough? OMG it hurt like hell.... He did know when enough was enough I thought it was enough about 8 swats in lol but he knew better and I am glad he did. My bottom started to bruise so he had to sort of move around on my bottom but even then it still bruised and he said that was why he stopped.

What will the lecture before hand be like? the lecture wasnt great but at least there was one. there were so many things he was spanking for that we couldn't even remember them all like I said in a previous post I almost feel I was acting out a bit which is why there were so many offenses against me.. I will not be doing that any time soon...

Will I be able to submit to him like I desperately want and need to? I think I did a fairly well job with it.